Category Archives for "Life challenges"
Do you ever find yourself dissatisfied with your child’s behaviour?
I don’t mean when they have a temper tantrum or something. I mean generally dissatisfied.
Like wondering why one of your kids is always the last – at everything. Always the last to get out of the car, the last to get into the car, the last to do anything.
Why one of your kids is reasonably responsive and responsible and the other one doesn’t seem to make an effort.
I’m describing the younger of my two girls here.
She’s sweet and kind and gentle and caring. But she’s also slow. She gives up too quickly and lacks perseverance.
She’s not overly confident in herself.
I know it’s not just my daughter. I see similar traits in members of other people’s families too. Maybe you have one at your place.
If they’re like this as children, how will they cope when they go out into the world?Where will they discover the inner strength we all need to get through the bumps and knocks of life?
How can we help them find their inner resilience?
And then I remembered something.Continue reading
Is this familiar?
Me: “Hello? Did you hear what I said?”
H: “Yes. I heard you.”
Me: “What did I say?”
H: “Ummm. I’m not sure.” Guilty look “I wasn’t listening.”
Gahh! I go internally berserk. Do I really have to say everything twice? Or even three times?
What am I? Some sort of recorded message, saying things over and over and over.
I don’t know about you, but this can drive me mad.
If the TV is on I don’t expect them to hear me. I know I need to mute the television, or stand in front of it, or otherwise gain their attention before speaking.
But when they’re playing with toys or drawing, and the room is quiet I expect things to be different.
Am I alone, or do you also find it difficult to get your kids to listen?
It’s enough to make me want to yell. And rant.
And the really frustrating thing is that one of my two girls often hears me. But not my youngest. Not my little dreamer.
She’s in her own little world. Perfectly content and cocooned.
But I’ve found a solution. Something so simple I’m kicking myself for not thinking of it sooner.
In fact, it not only solves the problem, it allows me to vent too.
And it all started when my daughter hated her teacher.Continue reading
Ever feel stuck?
Even in a small way, like about dinner.
I often get stuck thinking, “I hate having to decide what to cook for dinner every night.”
And kids get stuck too, on things like, “Oh, not peas again. I hate peas.”
Or, “Do we HAVE to go grocery shopping? Grocery shopping sucks!”
There’s a lot about life that can be tedious and boring and cause us and our kids to get stuck.
Once we get something into our heads, it’s like it gets etched there.
Particularly if it’s behaviour related.
We fall into a rut and before we know it we feel like we’re stuck in our own personal Ground Hog day.
Sentenced to live the same routine over and over and over until we get it right.
In Ground Hog Day Bill Murray lives the same day over and over. And it gets pretty boring so he starts playing around with it.
He tries different behaviour to see if he gets a different result.
He’s so bored with living the same day over and over that he wants to break the cycle.
And that’s the key.Continue reading
Does this sound familiar?
You’re constantly tired exhausted and on edge. So you’re less patient than you’d like.
The kids get under your skin. You try to stay calm but you’re so tired you crack. You lose it and yell or slam the door.
As soon as you do, you feel worse.
You’re tired and cranky and impatient and now … you’re also drowning in guilt. And self-loathing.
You hate not being the parent you wished you would be.
The calm, patient, understanding person you want to be. The person who has everything in order and under control.
Instead, you feel like crap. Useless, impatient, and imperfect.
You’re snapping at the kids. The house is a mess. Nothing is as it should be.And what’s worse is that now you have to find the energy to try and fix it all.
When you’re so exhausted you could sleep for a week.
So what’s the solution?Continue reading