Category Archives for "Living a great life"
Do you ever find yourself dissatisfied with your child’s behaviour?
I don’t mean when they have a temper tantrum or something. I mean generally dissatisfied.
Like wondering why one of your kids is always the last – at everything. Always the last to get out of the car, the last to get into the car, the last to do anything.
Why one of your kids is reasonably responsive and responsible and the other one doesn’t seem to make an effort.
I’m describing the younger of my two girls here.
She’s sweet and kind and gentle and caring. But she’s also slow. She gives up too quickly and lacks perseverance.
She’s not overly confident in herself.
I know it’s not just my daughter. I see similar traits in members of other people’s families too. Maybe you have one at your place.
If they’re like this as children, how will they cope when they go out into the world?Where will they discover the inner strength we all need to get through the bumps and knocks of life?
How can we help them find their inner resilience?
And then I remembered something.Continue reading
Your child says they can do something themselves. Like, make their own sandwich.
So you get out all the ingredients and they start spreading.
Only, they're gouging the bread with the knife. Parts of the bread have lots of spread on it, and parts are bare.
It looks a mess.
What do you do?
Most of us will jump in and 'save' our child. We'll say something like, "Here, let me help you." And we'll spread things out evenly, or start with new bread.
Basically, we'll 'fix' their 'mistake'. But the thing is, we often don't even wait for them to finish.
We jump in before there are any tears or frustration and we correct things.
I've done it, too. But I've also allowed my kids to make messy, gouged out sandwiches and guess what?
Those are the best sandwiches they've ever eaten.
And here's the thing.
When we jump in and 'save' our kids from possible failure, we're robbing them of an experience.Continue reading
Does this sound familiar?
You’re constantly tired exhausted and on edge. So you’re less patient than you’d like.
The kids get under your skin. You try to stay calm but you’re so tired you crack. You lose it and yell or slam the door.
As soon as you do, you feel worse.
You’re tired and cranky and impatient and now … you’re also drowning in guilt. And self-loathing.
You hate not being the parent you wished you would be.
The calm, patient, understanding person you want to be. The person who has everything in order and under control.
Instead, you feel like crap. Useless, impatient, and imperfect.
You’re snapping at the kids. The house is a mess. Nothing is as it should be.And what’s worse is that now you have to find the energy to try and fix it all.
When you’re so exhausted you could sleep for a week.
So what’s the solution?Continue reading